Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs. Just as you can’t expect to be happy all the time, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to be at a continuous high. When you make a long-term commitment to someone you have to be willing to ride the highs, as well as the lows, together. Marriage is not easy. As they all say it is a two way road. You can’t expect to receive champagne, roses and diamond rings everyday.
Adjust your expectations
Accept yourself, your spouse and your relationship as they exist today. It’s natural to want the honeymoon phase to last forever. But people and relationships change over time. You are two individuals that are constantly changing and learning. With these, there will be changes and each new milestone brings different dynamics and routines.
Tell your partner you love them often
Tell your partner you love them often but don’t stop there! Say “I love you” with your actions. The initial stages of a relationship are filled with butterflies and constant verbal affection. The problem is, as time goes on, those butterflies tend to fly away and so do the “I love you because…” disappears. Tell them why you love them. Perform little acts of kindness for your partner that let them know you love them. Some ideas are: warming your spouse’s car on a cold morning, take-out from your spouse’s favorite Chinese restaurant, get up fifteen minutes before your spouse does so that breakfast is ready when they walk into the kitchen and the list can go on and on.
Plan dates and surprises for each other
Romance should be an ongoing part of your relationship, not just special occasions. Take turns planning dates or other surprises to keep your relationship exciting. You could rent some kayaks, get concert tickets for your partner’s favorite band, or turn your dining area into a fancy restaurant to wine and dine your partner when getting home from work. Be thoughtful in your plans and consider what your spouse enjoys.
Continue dating your spouse
Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can’t also be dating, right? In fact, it is because you are married that you should be dating. Schedule one night each week that is your night with your hubby, just the two of you. Go to a nice restaurant, see a movie you both want to see, go for ice cream in the summer months. It is easy to be caught in the hamster wheel of wake up, grab a cup of coffee, kiss, run out the door, dinner with the kids, pass out, and repeat. It is also easy for your relationship to grow very tired because of this. There are countless opportunities to have a fun, romantic date night that you both deserve.
Find something you appreciate about your spouse every day
This one is very easy because it is something that can be both said or kept to yourself. Try and think of at least one thing that you like about your spouse daily. Better yet, tell them! There is no better form of encouragement than being told by your spouse how much they appreciate the little things you do. And reminding yourself of the awesome things your partner does for you will certainly help you out in those moments when he is getting on your nerves a bit more than usual.
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